Dear God,
Tomorrow’s my convocation, although you probably already know that. And you probably know all that I’m going to say in this entry as well, but I’ll write it down anyway because unlike you, I tend to forget. I haven’t been writing much lately either.
In the past 5 years and a half, I’ve asked for a lot of things, and you’ve given me almost everything I asked for and the only reason I didn’t get certain things was because you gave me better. This note does not sum up all my thank you’s (I think I’ve covered some of them along the years), but yeah, you get the idea.
Some tell me that this journey had been a breeze for me, while some would give me a pat on the back saying I’ve done well to finish it finally – but no one knows better than you, because only you knew the times I needed encouragement, strength, and support…and a patient ear to listen to all my nonsensical rants that nobody knew I was capable of churning.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and sometimes I wonder why you let me make them. I’ve been judged, and I wonder why you let others judge me, more often than not, wrongly. I’ve been forgotten, and sometimes I wonder why did you not make me significant enough for others to remember.
And then you uncover better things to answer my wonderments. Those who forgave me, those who made effort to see me beyond perception, and those who kept me in their thoughts more often than I have kept them in mine – you showed me grace through these people. Better yet, you showed me friends worthy to be kept for life. And best of all, you showed me unconditional love through my own family.
The end of this journey is just the beginning of adulthood, and I know you have much in store for me. If I said I’m not worried, I’d be lying. But I will claim your promises, just as each time you bring me that odd sense of comfort whenever I see a rainbow, an eagle, and even rain itself. I hope, when I get older, possibly more bitter and skeptical, I’ll still feel the same way each time I see those things.
Thank you, for giving me this scholarship five years and a half ago. No doubt I was pushed out of my comfort zone, and I had to suck it up – but if it wasn’t because of such growing pains then I won’t know what it’s like to stay true to myself and what it means to chase a dream. If I always had what I wanted then it wouldn’t be called “chasing” now, would it?
And thank you, for always sticking around when I needed, or didn’t need you. Like I said, I tend to forget. But it’s always amazing that no matter how far I’ve gone or how long we haven’t spoke, each time I gave you a call, you’ll pick up. Never an answering machine, or your personal assistant (if you have one). Heck, I don’t even need to hold and listen to that annoying hold tone that Maxis always has.
You’re awesome, you know that?
And, God?
You’re my best friend.
Love,
Vern.